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Mommy Q&A: R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

This week I have had so many questions as a mommy. Eli is a few weeks from becoming two and still only "Mama" can understand what she's saying, which is a gift in itself, lol. Vetty is doing great in school but hasn't been wanting to do her homework.... Like I had mentioned a few weeks ago I had began tuning into "Stop Responding, Start Reacting," a MomTV weekly show (Wednesdays I believe). I signed up with her newsletters as well and I love them! You know how usually when you sign up for a newsletter you always leave it for later, but later never comes so I just end up going on a purge and deleting all my emails. But Sharron's news letters I always read through on the spot. It answered one of the questions I had. Sharron took some notes from one of her favorite books (How to Talk So Kids will Listen and Listen So Kids will Talk) and made a list! (These tips aren't from Sharron).
5 Ways to Show Respect for Your Child

Remember, we can’t expect kids to respect us unless we also show respect to them.

Try these 5 ways to show respect, develop their capability and avoid power struggles:

1. Don’t ask too many questions.
Instead of “How was school today?” “Was the science test hard?” “What did you have for lunch?” Try: “Welcome home. I’m SO glad to see you!”

2. Don’t rush to answer questions.
Try: “That’s an interesting question. What do you think?”

3. Let your child own his/her own body.
Refrain from brushing her hair out of her eyes, tucking in his shirt, etc. Kids view this as fussing over them and an invasion of their physical privacy.

4. Let your child answer for herself/himself!
Try: “Jack can tell you. He’s the one who knows.” Or, for an older child, just be silent and don’t answer. The awkward silence will encourage your child to speak up.

5. Show respect for your child’s eventual “readiness.”
Try: “I’m not concerned. When you’re ready, you’ll use the potty.” (This also removes the power struggle. There’s no need to fight you because you are giving the him the power to decide.) Or try: “When you decide to, you’ll get into the water.”

Kids are accustomed to parents communicating with a lot of ordering, correcting and directing. These 5 strategies will show your kids that you respect them, and will lead to greater capability and autonomy with fewer power struggles.
Aren't these awesome tips? When you read things like this I tell myself that if I just stop and think about it parenting can be so easy, but it's not! You can sing up for the Proactive Parenting newsletter HERE.

And remember I took a challenge from Sharron a few weeks ago?! Well, it's been working. Hubs has been a bit more "motherly" and I don't think he's sent the girls to the corner as much as he use to. Today when he left to work Eli was wanting one last hug and usually he'd just say, "Go with mama!" Today he came and said, "Aww, I love you mamas!" and gave her one last hug (and me an extra kiss!). I'm seeing a bit more the man I married 7 years ago!

Thanks Sharron!


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